This simulated cake spackling compound is fast, cheap, and easy. Like your mom.
Author:Alex
Prep Time:About 10 minutes
Total Time:About 10 minutes
Category:Frostings and Such
Ingredients
2 parts powdered sugar, sifted
1 part vegetable shortening
Water (as needed)
Flavor extract of your choice, preferably clear if you’re going to play with colorings (optional)
Instructions
In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat shortening until creamy.
Add powdered sugar and beat some more until smooth.
Add water, 1-2 tbsp at a time, and beat until desired consistency is reached OR:
Add 1 tbsp flavor extract of your choice and beat; add water 1-2 tbsp at a time if your extract is not enough liquid to get you to the desired consistency. Adding a flavor will not make the icing taste any better, but will at least make it smell a little more pleasant. PLEASE ONLY USE EDIBLE EXTRACTS FOR THIS. DO NOT USE ESSENTIAL OILS OR FRAGRANCE OILS OR VAPE JUICE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
Can be stored in an airtight container at room temp pretty much forever. Fill your bag, pipe onto a practice board or other non-food surface, scrape off, repeat all you want.
Notes
I feel like I’ve said this a million times but I’m gonna say it again: don’t eat this. Especially if you’ve used less-than-fresh shortening. Don’t eat it. If you eat it anyway and 1-star it, I will roast you in the comments and I will encourage other readers to join in.
What consistency should you aim for? Softer than you think. You want it just firm enough to hold its shape when you pipe it, but soft enough to flow easily through the tip without you having to squeeze the soul out of the bag and to taper off into a little soft peak when you stop squeezing and pull the tip away.
This stuff can be colored with the same paste/gel/powder colors as real icing. Is that new “black” gel color you just got actually for real black? Now you can find out without turning your whole batch of good Italian buttercream purple or green or whatever.
I kind of looked into using cornstarch instead of powdered sugar for this, mostly for cost reasons. But a few minutes of poking on HEB’s website (and bless HEB for showing the price-by-the-ounce right there on the product listing so I don’t have to do math) told me powdered sugar is actually like half the price of cornstarch–Hill Country Fare (the cheapest HEB store brand) powdered sugar works out to $0.06 an ounce, whereas the HCF cornstarch is $0.12 an ounce. So just get the cheapest store brand powdered sugar you can find. It’s fine.
“Alex, you just said ‘this icing tastes like shit, don’t eat it’ about a million times up there, I already know expired Crisco and powdered sugar are going to taste like refried ass and I’m not even going to try it, so why shouldn’t I scent a batch of practice icing with sketchy ‘patchouli’ oil from a vape shop?” Because unless you’re bougie enough to buy a whole separate set of piping tips you will only ever use with practice icing and nothing else, you are going to be squirting practice icing that’s been scented with vape shop “patchouli” oil through the same piping tips you’re going to use for real icing someone is going to eat. Just pour some cheap imitation vanilla or some lemon extract or something in there. Please.